HR with heart: How compassion creates results (and why kindness isn’t a policy violation)
Let’s be honest HR isn’t for the faint-hearted or the spreadsheet-obsessed. When I started out, my role was essentially Professional Policy Parrot. A manager would get in touch, ask me a question, so I’d flick through the policy and choose the route it directed. It was a ‘black? or white?’ answer, and the human context only caused confusion and me scratching my head as I tried to fit the example somewhere amongst the pages of that policy… desperately trying to locate the answer the policy told me. I wanted it to be tidy… leaving any human element at the side.
From Black & White to Fifty Shades of Grey HR!
With time (and some life curveballs), I realised that being good at HR isn’t about knowing which action or inaction justifies a warning, it’s about knowing when not to use it. That’s when you know you’ve graduated. Not with a certificate, but with the confidence to sit comfortably in the grey and say, “This situation is different. Let’s treat it like it matters.”
I’ve watched brilliant junior colleagues grow into empathetic powerhouses once they saw people as people, not policy breaches. Confidence and compassion seem to go hand in hand. Sometimes it’s not about experience in HR, it’s about experience in life.
Why Massive Policies don’t Equal Fairness
You know those HR policies that read like War and Peace? Designed to cover every possible eventuality, right down to what happens if Ahmed explodes his jacket potato in the microwave more than twice and doesn’t clean up or Abigail wears really short shorts to the office on a hot day! They’re born from fear: fear of having an uncomfortable conversation, fear of upset or anger, fear of inconsistency, fear of unfairness, fear of tribunals. But oversized policies rarely bring clarity, they usually bring headaches and endless “What does the policy say about this?” questions. In reality, fairness isn’t about checking off scenarios. It’s about giving managers the autonomy to act in context, with kindness, having accountability and trusting that they won’t go rogue because we trained them well.
But What if We’re Too Nice?
I’ve been asked this so many times it should be stitched onto a cushion. “What if we don’t follow the policy because we want to be… kind?” My response? If you can justify it, and it helps the person at the centre of the issue, then go for it.
Spoiler alert: Compassionate HR leads to healthier, happier, more loyal people. Wild, isn’t it?
My Own Messy, Beautiful, Real-Life HR Journey
I’ve lived a bit, too. Fertility treatment. Divorce. Watching my soulmate tackle a stroke and cancer. Life doesn’t pause for professionalism, and I’ve been lucky to have managers who didn’t ask me to choose between resilience and results. They knew that kindness keeps the lights on, not just at home but at work. I stayed motivated because they showed heart.
The Bottom Line? HR Is Human
Here’s to ditching the rulebook (at least the oversized version), embracing the grey, and showing more compassion. Not just because it feels good, but because it works. HR with heart isn’t fluffy, it’s fiercely effective.
And if anyone still thinks kindness isn’t strategic, send them my way. I’ll smile sweetly… and challenge their entire worldview.
